I See Daft People

Several years ago, I watched a child being interviewed (possibly by Jonathan Ross) about a film. The child was Haley Joel Osment and the film was The Sixth Sense. As we’ve already established, I know next to nothing about children but I was shocked by what I saw and heard.

A survey was recently conducted to find out what people, the public, fear most. They were asked to list their top ten fears in order of seriousness. Obviously death figured highly on the list, a reasonable response, but, quite bizarrely, public speaking ranked above death in many people’s lists. One conclusion you could draw from this is that, at a funeral, rather than be up near the altar delivering a heartfelt eulogy in praise of the bod in the coffin, these respondents would prefer to be the one in the box themselves. Is it just me or does this seem a little “irrational” to you too?

Anyway, what shocked me about the interview was the composure of this child of about ten years of age. Not the slightest hint of nerves at conducting an interview which would be watched by literally millions of people. Further, he spoke with an eloquence, intelligence and a richness in grammar and vocabulary which, sadly, many adults never attain. This was one extraordinarily bright boy.

As much as I’m normally turned off by mystic, spooky, supernatural stories, the film itself is, in my humble opinion, absolutely excellent, as are the performances of all of the actors, notably that of young Mr O himself. There’s none of the predictable Hollywood histrionics and screams of “Oh My God!” every other scene, hysterical huffing, puffing and shrieking. The situation of the child is that he has been and still is terrified by his circumstances but his fear is largely mastered, managed and, to a point, rationalised. The terror is manifest but under-stated. A look in his eyes, a dignified tear, a clear desire to be someone else, somewhere else but, at the same time, just as the actor, the child is highly intelligent and wants to understand what’s happening around him and why it’s happening. The plot and the construction of scenes are cunning and twisty and I’ll say no more about that as it would be a bit of a crime to spoil the film for anyone out there who’s lucky enough not to have already seen it. If that’s you, find a copy and enjoy it.

In the wee small hours of a July morning last year, the 18-year-old Mr O, managed to flip his car over, causing himself a few bumps and bruises but nothing too serious. However, the serious side to the incident was that he’d consumed rather too much booze to be at the wheel and he happened to have a wee stash of marijuana on his person at the time. He was charged with offences relating to these facts and was convicted on two counts. Sentencing was pretty much in proportion in my opinion and basically amounted to probation, alcohol rehab and a fine. The police mugshot you see above speaks volumes. It shows a sheepish embarrassment at a stupid act and its consequences. An embarrassment which wouldn’t be evident on the face of an idiot.

This is no idiot but it goes to show how idiots and the intelligent alike are capable of making mistakes and, when it comes to moments of human daftness, nobody is immune and there’s not necessarily any need to incarcerate every Tom, Dick or Haley who makes a blunder or steps across the line from time to time. On the other hand, someone to whom behaviour like this is habitual and to whom a mugshot represents no embarrassment whatsoever belongs behind bars for as long as it takes to change them into someone mature enough to be free to interact with decent people.

I’m hopeful and confident that someone as intelligent as Mr O will have learnt a good and lasting lesson from this episode. Someone once said something along the lines of “Show me the child before he’s seven and I’ll show you the man”. Whilst the ages don’t match precisely, I think that if the 18-year-old Mr O wants or needs a good demonstration of how a bright and admirable youngster comports himself, he could do a lot worse than to find a tape of that interview and to watch it several times.